As Paul once said...

Romans 7:13-25 (NIV)
13 Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! Nevertheless, in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it used what is good to bring about my death, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful. 14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

{God knows my sins, He knows those recent sins I've been continually falling into. I know that God is a forgiving God. However, recently I've asked myself:

"Can God really forgive me even when I continue to sin in that which I hate & wish I did not do, in the sin I feel I can't really control nor feel like I have enough self will to stop?"

So today I remembered the verse above #15 & decided to read more into its entire context (vs 13-25) to see if I can find some hope for my struggles. Thankfully I do find hope in it. I understand that I am sinful I'll never get it entirely right on this side of heaven & it is the sin of my flesh that causes me to do what I do NOT want to do. But ,I also know that the Holy Spirit dwells in me that convicts me continually. & I acknowledge that God's law & commandments are Truth. It is because of my remorse that I know I'm wrong & I know that who I am, whether I like it or not, is a sinner. I, also, know that as long as I have the Holy Spirit in me & I feel remorseful there is still hope for me yet. I am not saying that because I feel what I feel & know what I know is wrong - excuses me & therefore will allow me to enter into eternity with my LORD, what I AM saying is that while I still am alive & I am conscious of my sin I still have hope of being set free of that of which I hate, so I will continue to pray (& ask others to the same for me) to Jesus to help me turn away from that I feel I'm becoming captive of.
I THANK GOD FOR THE HOPE HE HAS GIVEN ME TROUGH THESE VERSES, SO I CONFESS TO EVERYONE, I SIN! I PRAY GOD THAT YOU WILL BLESS ME & SET ME FREE FROM THAT OF WHICH YOU HATE & THEREFORE I, TOO, HATE! MY HEART BRAKES WHEN I KNOW YOUR HAS BEEN THOUSANDS OF YRS AGO & HOW EACH TIME I SIN IT BREAKS YOUR HEART AGAIN. FORGIVE ME & THANKS FOR THE DELIVERANCE YOU WILL SOON GIVE ME FROM THIS BONDAGE. IN JESUS' NAME I PRAY. AMEN!}